3 posts tagged “attrition”

Today in my 3rd period class I was asked by the umpteenth student whether or not I'm coming back next year. Usually my response is a comical, "yes, I'm going to be here next year. I'm going to be here forever and take (insert adminstrator's name)'s place. I'll teach you this year and next year. I'll teach your kids years later. I'll be here forever." Or something to that effect. Of course I'm not fully sure of this and I am looking at teaching in various other school districts in the state next year but I don't want to have the impending departure of Mr.Amutah hanging over my students' heads. Other teachers have been very vocal to their students that this is their last year in Humphreys County. I appreciate honesty in all its forms but I don't think that this is best approach for obvious reasons. Anyway, to each his/her own.

So when my 3rd period class asked me whether or not I was returning today I said that yes, I was going to return. I was expecting sighs (sometimes sarcastic, often genuine) and exasperated looks all around the room but the response was quite surprising. A number of my students said, "Woo! I'm a take yo' class again next year then. Make sure you request me when you making yo' schedule next year, Mr.Amutah." I told my students that I was considering getting re-certified to teach English as well and referenced my summer of '07 teaching middle school English in Holly Springs and a number of students said, "yeah, you might as well. You teach us mo' English than our Language Arts teacher." As if this wasn't enough positive feedback, my aforementioned student, LL, flatly stated, "Mr.Amutah, we love you."

I almost cried in front of my kids.

One of my students just came by my house (around 6:30 pm...as I start typing this). Again, a bad thing about living where you teach--especially with some of your students literally close enough to steal their family's wireless Internet connection--is that they sometimes stop by at awkward or unwanted times. Nevertheless, it was a generally positive exchange.

The student is a genuinely interesting one. My understanding is that his parents are not from the U.S. (I believe they're Jamaican immigrants...first or second-generation). That makes him EXTREMELY rare in the school already as 99.9% of the kids there have been in the Delta, or at least Mississippi, for as far back as anyone in their family can remember. Nevertheless, like me without the Igbo accent of my parents, he has no semblance of a Jamaican accent. He speaks the same English in the same fashion of people who grew up around him in Belzoni, just as my accent is the same as people I grew up around in Trenton.

Last week I took three entire days out of my EACH of my classes just so my students could do make-up work in hopes of passing my class. I went in order from those who needed to pull their grades up the most to those who needed to do so the least and in my most troubling class--my seventh period Mississippi Studies class with 9th graders---he was second to be called up (the student before him has a zero average). This kid had an average of 4. His mouth dropped when he came up to my computer and looked at the screen where his missing assignments, behavior log, and average were shown. His (inappropriate) behavior log has several recent entries--probably more than any other student. Out of a five-day week, he'll be put out of class three days, won't come to school one day, and will manage to not do work the day he's not put out of class. After turning in about 40% of his make-up work I re-computed his grades and his average went up to...a 13. Great. Next year, same class.

Anyway, so THIS student lives around the corner from me and came by a moment ago. He seemed startled that I came to the door and didn't really know what to say besides, "Hey, Mr.Amutah!" I replied with a "hey" also and inquired as to how he's doing. He said he's been fine and talked about our Black History Month Program that was held today. He said that it went well. He also stated that yesterday he came by with Patrick (another student in my 7th period Mississippi Studies class) and that they were worried about me. I wanted to say, "Bullsh*t. You wanted to see if I was still alive or not so you could run and tell the other students that Mr.Amutah is on his sickbed/quitting/dead/going back to Africa (?) so you all can have a party and not repeat my course. Keep it real." But I didn't. I just let the positive exchange be a positive exchange. He asked if I'd be in school on Monday and I said yes. He kind of started walking away awkwardly (this kid is sooooo weird) and then I bid him a good weekend. He did the same to me.

After experiencing this and reading more of  for our EDSE 601 class with Dr.Mullins I feel like I've repaired some. Reading about students in East St.Louis or Washington, D.C. or even in Camden, NJ--45 minutes from where I grew up--is very sobering. The realities of what these children and teens deal with should not be dealt with by any and while I don't agree that the end, complete and all-encompassing problem is lack of government help, I definitely think that these people have been royally shafted by local, state, and federal governmental bodies and politicians and this has increased the difficulty of bettering their current situations. I have no idea what my students are dealing with at home, in their communities, with other students, with other teachers, or what have you. To expect them to perform at my standards immediately and consistently is not fair. I'm not saying that having a four in my class is at all excusable, but I am saying that context needs to be given to students' behaviors and formal assessments--whether made by myself or by the state's board of education--should not be the be-all-end-all measure of a student, let alone a human being.

Perhaps I'll take my mother's advice and go easier on them with the *difficulty* of the work (mind you, I'm adamant that my work is NOT hard! Overwhelmingly, the students just don't attempt to do it). Next week, I know that I will definitely give ALL of my students at least one graded assignment daily with an optional, extra credit homework assignment each night. With a 13 average and only one week left in this nine weeks, some students have to get on the grind FOR REAL. We shall see.

A while ago I think I said that what I think will end up pulling me through these two years is a love for my students. I really hope that this love can be sustained and that it's potent enough to do so because I can't have too many more weeks like this week. Too many other options....

Before school started today I had at least three students from another homeroom come and ask me to help them with another teacher's project that's due today. That teacher is infamous for beating students--something that, despite my persistent classroom management issues, lack of academic cooperation from students, and encouragement by colleagues/parents, I have still not been able to bring myself to do. Philosophically, I am opposed to it now and in the foreseeable future. It deals with monopolies of violence, state-sanctioned violence on poor folk, adult-to-child violence, etc....

Anyway, these students that came into my class today were all worked up over the project that they had to turn in for that teacher. It may be that that project is worth an immense portion of their final grade (I believe in the past I've heard students say that not turning in each major project of that teacher's will ensure your failure of his class--not to mention it will get you beat severely) but I think that that's secondary to the beating. That's that teacher's calling card. Other teachers use this sort of force to get their students to complete work and behave how the teacher wants but, again, these are things that I'm finding myself increasingly opposed to philosophically AND practically.

Thus, my students don't fear me very much ---> thus, they don't fear not doing my work ---> thus, they often don't do my work ---> thus, many students fail many assignments and my class

So this big Black History Month report that I gave my students over a month ago (January 23rd)...that's worth 500 points (a quiz grade AND a test grade combined)...that we've been going to the library every Friday to work on...did not go down like I wanted. Submissions? Fifth period: eight out of 24 students. Sixth period: nine out of 17 students. Seventh period: seven out of 25 students. I was wishfully thinking that 70% of my students would turn in these reports but I guess not. Additionally, of the fraction of students that turned in their reports about a quarter of them received zeros for plagiarism or not doing it themselves (which they'll vehemently deny). For instance, our basketball star got his girlfriend, who takes me for world history another period, to do his report. It's obvious. Disrespectfully so. If she didn't, there would have been myriad other females in the wings to do his report. He thinks I still can't figure out these things.... Another 50% of my students submitted reports which had major omissions (i.e. no bibliography or missing answers to the five questions I specifically told them to answer) or which were filled with biographic information I didn't ask for. Sigh....

During a month when Black history should be celebrated I feel particularly bad about giving a large group of Black students such poor grades. To some extent, it's not really their fault that they're in 8th, 9th, and 10th (one even in 12th) grade and don't know how to:

* Conduct original research.
* Read a passage and extract important/pertinent information.
* Write in complete sentences/with correct grammar/consistently punctuate/avoid filler language (i.e. using something like "and that's why I think ____ should be studied for Black History Month" as an end sentence to obtain the proper paragraph length--four to six sentences in my classes).
* Write for school (formally) in a different mode than how they converse with friends (informally).
* Prepare a bibliography.
* Ask for help when needed.
* Pace themselves and their work so that assignments are turned in on time.
* Double-space.
* Etc.....

What's interesting to note is that I don't think I have all of these skills mastered either. Certainly, certain profs from Ole Miss and Harvard will say that I don't.

I'm just flabbergasted and, like many first-years, feeling like cutting my losses and just leaving. Humphreys County, the Delta, Mississippi, the program...I dunno...just leaving. Too much work and stress and effort for too little visible progress. What I'm doing here is trying to force a square peg into a round hole (or however that saying goes). It's not happening. I'm trying to force a sort of appreciation for education and intellectual stimulation on a community that could care less. Students, parents, admins, colleagues alike...many could care less. Today I missed maybe my 15th or so day of the school year with another relatively lame excuse. It was just another one of those days when I could not bring myself to face the realities of the academic and social environment that I work in. I was also very tired from the night before and still nursing a cold. I slept in. I only got up to check other job opportunities in Mississippi. ASAP.

Prior to coming to MTC (and even while I've been here) family and friends of mine outside of Mississippi have warned me about the public servant martyrdom syndrome that they feel might have infected me at some point during college. I now wonder if they're right or not as I try to keep pushing feeling like I'm probably doing more damage to myself than good to students. It goes without saying that this is NOT what I wanted.